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Good Together Page 15
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Almost nine hours of driving and over four hundred miles and she still had no idea why this man who had promised to love her “until death did them part” wanted a divorce. But she could see that he did. There was absolutely no love, no caring in Wes toward her anymore.
“Tell me when it started. Was it before Dex died?”
“Of course not. Dex was my friend.” He was standing with his back against the wall, arms still shielding his chest, the bottle of beer held tight, like it was a charm with protective powers. If he wanted to talk this way—standing up—Mattie didn’t mind. She’d spent most of the day sitting in the cab. It was good to stretch her legs...
Even if she did feel a little weak... she masked the trembling in her legs by grabbing onto the back of a chair.
“Are you telling me your friendship with Dex meant something. And your marriage to me, didn’t?”
“You’re twisting my words. I never meant to cheat on you Mattie. This just—happened. You knew Dex named me executor of his estate.”
She’d forgotten, but yes, he had mentioned the fact.
“Which meant Suzanne and I had to spend some time together. I felt sorry for her. She was pregnant when Dex died. And she lost her baby the next week.”
Mattie looked at the closed bedroom door. She knew she ought to feel sorry for the woman in the other room, but she couldn’t. Instead, she was picturing the distraught widow, phoning up Mattie’s husband and crying on his shoulder.
And yes, Mattie could see how it had happened, how Suzanne’s vulnerability and need had bolstered Wes’s yearning to feel strong and manly. He’d stepped in to help—maybe with good intentions at the start—only to get more and more entangled.
“You think she needs you more than we do. But that isn’t true.”
“Actually, it is. Mattie—you’ve never needed me. You’ve always been the strong one in our family. And the girls are gone, living their own lives.”
“They still love you. And miss you.”
“And I love them too. If I haven’t been in touch lately, it’s only because I’m not sure how to explain this to them.”
Mattie stared down at her fingers, turning white as she squeezed the chair so hard she thought the pine might snap. “What happened to the money you got from selling our horses? Why didn’t you deposit it into our bank?”
“What—you think I’m trying to cheat you? I deposited the funds into an investment account. It was too much money to sit around without earning interest. Don’t worry, when the time comes to divide our assets, you’ll get your share.”
Oh, he sounded so cool and calm about all this. Speaking about the dissolution of their marriage as if it were as simple as a tallying and dividing of assets and liabilities. “You should have talked to me before you arranged that sale.”
“It’s not like I had a choice. We have to sell. Everything. That’s the only way we can get enough money so we can both have a fresh start. I’m too old and tired to work the rodeo anymore. You know it was showing in my scores the past few years. But I don’t want to run the ranch, either. It’s too much work, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, never getting a break, always worried about something or other.”
“But that’s been our life.”
“And I’m tired of it. I like working at the lumberyard. I put in my eight-hours, work hard and earn good money, then come home and I can relax. I get my weekends off. Once the ranch is sold, I’ll have enough money to buy a nice house. Travel, like regular people get to do.”
The life he was describing was not what she wanted. Why had she never seen this side of him before? “What if we sold the land, but kept the house? It isn’t just another asset to me, or to Portia and Wren. It’s our home.”
“But it’s also on the property I want to sell. And why would you want to live so far from town if you weren’t ranching anymore? Believe me, I’ve thought about this a lot, and selling is the only option.”
“I want to talk to my lawyer, first.”
“Fine.” Wes sighed. “But I promise you he’s going to tell you the exact same thing.” He took another long drink of his beer, then set the empty bottle on the kitchen table. He glanced at the closed bedroom door, then back at her. “Anything else?”
The words stung. His desire to get rid of her was so obvious, and nothing more than that made the end of her marriage feel real. She’d come here hoping for answers, but they were a lot harsher than she’d anticipated.
He was in love with someone else.
He had absolutely no feelings left for her, anymore.
So now it all boiled down to accounting. What was his and what was hers. Divide it up and move along to the next phase of your life.
And what would that look like?
She had no clue.
“If you haven’t already, please give the girls a call. Let them know that you love them. They need to hear that right now.”
Wes didn’t answer, but he nodded. She waited to see if he would ask any questions of her. Was she okay? What were her plans?
But he remained quiet. No doubt anxious for her to leave.
She went to open the door. Paused, and glanced back at him.
“Goodbye, Mattie.”
That was it.
She didn’t respond. Once she’d hoped to grow old with this man. Together they would watch their daughters grow up, maybe get married and have children of their own. Now those dreams were officially dead.
* * *
Waiting in the truck was one of the hardest things Nat had ever done. More than anything he longed to drag Wes outside and give him a good pounding. The guy was a damned jerk. A total idiot. Did he really think that lightweight Suzanne was any sort of replacement for Mattie? Even if he did—was it necessary to end his marriage in the most hurtful way possible?
Across the yard, lights glowed from several windows in the big ranch house. Had the people inside noticed Wes had guests? Or were they making a point of ignoring the happenings in their guest cottage?
Nat shifted in his seat, considered getting out to stretch. All these hours of driving had been hell on his body. He’d already popped his limit of pain pills for the day. No doubt he’d be limping later tonight.
He tensed as Mattie came out of the cabin with a shell-shocked expression on her face. Nat wanted to wrap his arms around her. But since he couldn’t do that—he’d come up with an alternate plan.
“I don’t want to talk about what just happened,” were Mattie’s first words when she’d climbed back into the truck.
“Okay.” He’d expected as much. What she needed was time to decompress. And he’d already taken steps to help the process. “I’ve made reservations for two rooms at the Northern Hotel in downtown Billings.”
She looked at him, surprised.
“It’s too late and too far to drive home tonight.”
“That’s true. I’m sorry. I didn’t think this through.”
“Fortunately they have lots of room at the hotel. I think you’ll like it. It’s right downtown, a renovated historic building, named after the Pacific Northern Railway.”
“That does sound nice,” she murmured.
He lost no time pulling out of that place and heading back to the highway. GPS told him the hotel was fifteen minutes away. He used that time to chat about the history of Billings, how it had begun as a rail hub with the first train arriving in August of 1882. Montana history had always interested him. At home he had a library of about fifty books—and most of them he’d read cover to cover.
At the hotel, he handed over the keys to his truck, then went to the front desk. When Mattie pulled her wallet out of her purse, he told her no.
“We’ll settle up later.” He said that so she wouldn’t argue. But he had no intention of letting her pay for anything tonight. After what she’d just been through, she deserved a treat. And he was determined to give it to her.
Once they had their key cards in hand he suggested she go up for a shower then m
eet him in the restaurant, called TEN, in the lobby. “Food is supposed to be great, and we deserve a decent meal.”
She nodded, still looking a little numb.
“You okay to meet in thirty minutes? I asked the desk clerk to make us a reservation for eight-thirty.” He didn’t intend to give Mattie enough time to fall apart. She could do that later, if she wanted. First she needed some TLC, Nat Diamond style.
* * *
Mattie wished she’d packed something pretty to wear, but the best she could do was to put on clean underwear and a fresh sweater after her shower.
The multiple shower heads in the step-in marble stall had been fabulous. Nat must have booked her the most expensive room in the place. She had a sitting area and huge king-sized bed. The bathroom was like a gorgeous spa, with lots of complimentary bottles of lotion and soaps, as well as a plush white robe and matching slippers.
She almost wished they’d decided to order in, but given the circumstances—she was still legally married and Nat was just her neighbor—going to the restaurant was probably wise.
As she rushed to get ready in thirty minutes, she made a conscious effort not to think about the scene with Wes. Wounds had been inflicted that were going to hurt like hell when the shock wore off.
And she wanted to be at home when that happened. On familiar ground. And not with the man who’d already done so much to help her and didn’t deserve to witness her falling apart. Again.
The restaurant was beautiful, all modern with clean lines, beautiful red velvet chairs pulled up to round tables sets with crisp, white linens. Nat stood when he saw her, even pulled out a chair for her.
“Feel better? You sure look good.”
“Thanks. That shower was awesome.” She noticed the bottle of sparkling mineral water already on the table. “That’s perfect for me, but if you want something stronger, please go ahead. It’s been a hell of a day.”
“That it has, but since we’ll be driving home tomorrow, it’s probably a good idea for me to keep a clear head.”
He touched his water glass to hers, then gave her a smile. As their eyes met, she felt a zing of excitement and pleasure, which was truly the last thing she ought to be feeling right now. Quickly she lowered her gaze.
“Mattie, there’s something I need to say. Just to be clear. This hotel, and dinner... well, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”
“You mean you’re not hitting on me?” she asked wryly.
His answering smile was quick and relieved. “I don’t deny there was a time when I might have done exactly that.”
Another pulsing of pleasure. She couldn’t deny what it was this time. Desire, plain and simple. Followed by a dashing of hopes. What did he mean when he said there was a time? When had that time been? And what had changed?
She shouldn’t be having these thoughts. She knew it.
But she’d just found out her husband had left her so he could console a pretty, young widow. And what woman on earth wouldn’t want Nat Diamond? The understated lighting made him look even more attractive than usual. With his incredible bone structure, plus his attitude of confidence and ease, he pretty much owned the room.
But what made him even more attractive were the qualities that couldn’t be seen. His kindness and generosity. His love of the land and animals—and of history and Montana. They shared the same passions in life, and to Mattie, that was the biggest turn-on of all.
Yet, here he was, trying to make sure she didn’t misread his intentions.
With perfect timing the server came and handed them menus. Nat ordered slow braised bison short ribs.
“Sounds good. I’ll have the same.” She passed back the menu, then glanced around the room. Although it was a Monday evening, at least half the tables were occupied. She took a deep breath and could feel her body relaxing on a cellular level.
“This is nice. I haven’t been in a restaurant this fancy in a really long time.”
“Good. Relax and enjoy it.” Nat gave her a lazy smile. “You class up the joint, if I may say so.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Even in my jeans and old sweater?”
“Even so.”
She thanked him with a smile. She appreciated hearing that some men still found her attractive... though she hadn’t meant to think about the encounter with Wes, a mental image of Suzanne popped into her head. Dex Cooper’s widow was cute, and probably only just thirty, if that. Had she tried to steal Mattie’s husband away from her?
Or had it just happened—Wes’s words?
She’d never know, for sure. But seeing her husband with this other woman hadn’t cut her as deeply as she’d thought it would.
When she probed her emotions to understand why this was so, she realized that the love she’d felt for Wes had been hurt so badly these past few months that it was close to dying. The way he’d treated her tonight had been the last straw.
She was done. Ready to accept that her marriage was over. And the future—whatever it might hold—was suddenly looking a lot less bleak.
“I know we agreed not to talk about it...” she leaned closer to Nat. “But I’m surprised I’m feeling okay right now. Seeing Wes with Suzanne. Two months ago it would have killed me.”
“Two months ago it almost did.” Nat reminded her. “Thankfully a shipment of tea and tissues arrived in time to revive you.”
She grimaced, feeling rueful. “Were you afraid I’d go to pieces on you tonight?”
“Afraid is the wrong word. I can take it, Mattie. But I hate seeing you suffer. Mainly because you’re a good person, and you were a good wife. I know you can’t judge a marriage from the outside. But I saw enough to know that if anyone wasn’t giving a hundred and ten percent in your relationship, it sure as hell wasn’t you.”
“Thank you for saying that.” Despite the fact that it was Wes who had left, Wes who’d refused counseling, and Wes who’d cheated, she still found herself probing her feelings and the past, trying to find the ways that she’d let him down, or not been there for him.
Happy husbands didn’t go looking for trouble.
But then, maybe asking a wife to be responsible for her husband’s happiness was asking too much. A lot of the factors that had strained her relationship with Wes had been out of her control.
“I’m done with falling apart, Nat. The last few months have been brutal. And I don’t want to feel that way, anymore. Subconsciously I must have known Wes was having an affair. Because seeing them together didn’t devastate me. Once it would have. But he’s been such a jerk these past six months...”
“I’m glad to hear that. And I can relate. When Julia finally packed her stuff and left the Double D, I was mostly just relieved.”
“Exactly.” Mattie relaxed back into her chair as the server brought their meals. The bison melted in her mouth and the roasted vegetables were packed with flavor. She ate every bite, even though there was more food here than she needed.
“Save room for dessert. I was hoping you’d share the chocolate soufflé with me. I ordered it when I first sat down.”
“Seriously?” She laughed. “I may explode, but I will definitely join you for that.”
“So I made a good choice?” His smile was indulgent, and it felt nice, knowing that he’d been trying to pick something she would like.
She couldn’t remember the last time Wes had seemed to care about making her happy.
But no. She shouldn’t entertain such bitter thoughts. Especially not tonight, when Nat had gone to so much trouble to plan a nice evening for her.
“I’ve only had chocolate soufflé once,” she confessed. “We were in Marietta for the rodeo and my sister Sage was experimenting in the kitchen.”
“She’s the one who owns the chocolate shop?”
Mattie nodded. “Before then. Even when she was a barrel-racer, Sage loved baking anything that had cocoa in it.”
“Sounds like a good sister to have.”
“I love all my sisters, but I do have a swe
et spot for Sage.”
He groaned at the double entendre, which she appreciated because it proved he was really paying attention to their conversation.
The soufflé was served then, along with a pot of Earl Gray tea. The first mouthful was so divine, neither one of them spoke until both of their servings were gone. Mattie warmed up their teacups, emptying what was left in the pot.
“Was that as good as your sister’s?”
Mattie had to admit that it was. “But don’t tell Sage.”
“I doubt if I’ll have the opportunity in the near future. Mind you, Sage is the only one of your sisters I’ve met. Red hair, right? Kind of quiet.”
When Mattie nodded, he continued, “What about the others? Portia was talking about Dani, your sister in Seattle. She seems to be rather in awe of her. A professor of psychology?”
“Yes. She’s the brain of the family. The most sophisticated and definitely best dressed. She’s never come to visit me at Bishop Stables—usually we meet up at The Circle C during the fall rodeo. A few times I’ve taken the girls to Seattle for sight-seeing and shopping. She’s a great hostess.”
But now that the topic had been raised, Mattie wondered why it was that never once, in nineteen years, had Dani ever come to Bishop Stables. She made a mental note to ask next time they were chatting. In fact, calls to both Dani and Callan were overdue. The situation with Wes was not going to be resolved and she wanted everyone in her family to hear the news first from her.
Except her dad. She’d let Callan tell him. She was pretty sure her dad would find a way to blame her. She just didn’t need to go through that.
“And your youngest sister—Callan—how does she like working at The Circle C with your father?”
“I honest don’t know how she copes. He is so ill tempered—one of those old-timers who is pretty much impossible to please. I used to avoid him as a kid—he was always taking me to task for one mistake or another. Full marks to Callan for putting up with him. She only does it because she loves the ranch so much...”